The modern world tells us such lies when we are children, that we can ‘become anything we want to be’ and that ‘it’s more important to participate than to win’. This sort of education leads men to developing a view of the world where we are entitled to anything just for showing up for it, we get the victory for just showing up for the battle, we get the girl for just asking her out. This type of thinking fails to realize that an integral part of a man’s success is his failure. Failure is the way through which success is obtained, you try, you fail, you learn from it, your try again, repeat a few times until you succeed. Yet, the narrative today is either that of trying something for the first time, failing and then never trying again, or trying something for the first time, succeeding, developing hubris and reaching further than your abilities allow it, and then failing. There are countless example of men getting started with weight training, going to the gym for the first time, failing to lift a certain weight and giving up, or lifting a weight they thought they were too weak to lift, and so they keep ego-lifting until they get hurt.
In order to make the person you’re interacting with in a social situation, be it a person at work or a girl you’re flirting with chase you, you need to start moving away, it sounds logical, doesn’t it? Having another person come into your frame means you guiding them into your frame, but the key difference is that you don’t want to guide them by pushing them into it, you want to guide them by moving away step by step, making them come after you step by step, until you’ve got them into the frame of thinking in which you want them to be, and then you propose the result that you want to achieve from that interaction. This, paradoxically means that you need to stop caring about the result that you want to achieve, because in any moment of this ‘dance’ so to say of you giving a little then moving away, they might choose not to chase you, which might get you panicked and get you to fuck up your game.
Today we are living in a world where we see constantly how people judge and criticize others all the time, no one is spared when it comes to criticism. Everybody sees the world and other people through their own lenses and while this is totally natural and human, this might be the reason why criticism is born in the first place. The reason for that is that we rarely see more than what our mind allows us. In this article, we will find stoic practices to deal with criticism in our daily lives, Besides this, we will get to know wonderful ways adopted by stoics to respond to unfair criticism with peace, patience, tolerance and dignity.
A stoic person knows that they will be the recipient of criticism by others therefore they need to be strong and patient and they don’t whine and bitch about it. Thus, they do not get attracted and distracted by such threats of criticism and keep themselves ready for it. Similarly, they usually do not take those situations too personally. As Epictetus stated: Feel grateful when someone unfairly criticizes you because they will not be pointing at your real flaws. Another point extremely worth mentioning as well is that criticism is a signal of progress (or at least change). You`ll have this experience firsthand once you decide to step up and pursue a dream. There always will be people laughing at you, doubting you won`t be able to accomplish whatever you have set you mind on. So, if you decided to do anything above average be ready for criticism, if it didn`t hit you already, IT IS COMING SOON.
is a man, but a set of principles incarnate. Men are beings of virtue, the more we defend our own values and stick to our own perspective of the world, the better that perspective becomes. Defending your own values when they come under attack from your enemies is the primary reason why men evolved to be as strong and capable as we are. Defending the things we stand from, the things that guide us through our lives and which promise us the eternal light of virtue and truth, these things are different for every man, but to all men they must be holy, wholeheartedly defended with mental vigor and power. In the old times, defending your values meant getting into physical confrontations with those men who challenge them. In today's world things are different, yet still all the same. You may not be expected to fight for your values (though you might well be in times of war and crisis), but you are expected to defend your position when your values come under attack, both verbally and through your actions.
There are essentially, three types of discipline a man must develop in order to achieve freedom. Discipline is the first, the cardinal virtue, it is the virtue from which all other virtues bloom, and the achievement of the state of iron discipline is the success from which stem all other successes.The lack of discipline is the sickness from which idle minds conjure up sin and vanity. It is essential for a man to be disciplined in his life, but attaining such discipline in a world in which no outside motivation for it exists is a difficult and daunting task.
Having someone who you can trust is a natural and needed part of a human life. Trust evolved as one of the social attributes which helped us to form our communities and tribes, trusting someone is a deep emotional need, it’s very hard, if not impossible to make that need go away. The Stoic practice is generally a good way to control one’s emotions, yet even it fails when it comes to the simple need of a man to have at least one person who they can trust sufficiently enough to show them the deepest, personal and hardest to admit aspects of oneself. The need for trust is simple, and can be put into terms of simple exchange: “I let you in on my private perspective of the world, and give you a role in it, you fulfill your role in my world, and keep other people away from my personal world.” Of course, the term “Personal world“ not only refers to one’s mind and thoughts, but also to secrets, to expectations and goals which he rarely shares, and most of all to one’s view of the objective reality around him, trusting someone means having someone with whom you can share your personal lens through which you see the wider world, without him telling anyone what he saw.
There is no greater measure of success in life as is failure. To fail means you have been doing something, you’ve been fighting, making mistakes, taking chances. The simple fact that this time success evaded you means nothing, you still put in the work necessary to achieve it, and the next time it will be yours for the taking. People who look down upon and pity those who have lost a fight in their life are a different kind of scum. There is nothing lower and more dishonorable to a man who calls himself a man than to kick a fellow man while he’s down. The struggle the beautiful, the endless hours of blood, sweat and tears that go into the struggle make it beautiful. The fighter is the epitome of masculine virtue, be he a winner or a looser of the fight, the one who gives it his all independent of the outcome, the one who struggles in the mud, and who bites when his weapon breaks, he deserves all our respect.
The truth is, the meaning is this world is verily non-existent, until we young men forge it in our minds, until we take our goals and ambitions to be the morally vertical thing to strive for, until we make those goals holy to us, and until we reject the false gods of equality, wealth attainment through the unhealthy, endless rat--race, and hedonism, instead striving for much greater goals such as self-actualization, forming of families and tribes, devotion to spirituality, and so on. Life is not meant to be easy, it’s meant to be hard enough for each of us men to be able to conquer a small part of it, a part of it that suits him, that he cares about, that he can conquer well, and by doing so, help us as a collective to conquer the rest of life and to force it not to become easy, but to become meaningful.
Here are a few good combinations I myself have tried and enjoyed. Different combinations go well with different atmospheres, just something to keep in mind while picking the right one for you.
It is exactly through struggle, through conflict that things change, we evolved through constant infighting not through maintaining the status quo. Wars between nations brought us international law, class struggle brought us social equality, conflicts in scientific community brought us better results, and conflicts on the free market brought us better products.